The loneliness of eyes closed could rekindle the passion

Opinion



DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Is it a mistake to have separate bedrooms when you start as a couple? My boyfriend and I are very good sexually, but I can’t fall asleep lying next to the guy. He snores and I yell at him to stop, but he could sleep through a tornado. He refuses to use a mouth guard or get help from a doctor because he says it’s “normal” for a man to snore.

We are moving in together in July and I want us to have our own rooms so we can sleep. My interfering mom just pulled me aside and said it destroys a couple’s intimacy if they each have their own bedroom. Do you agree with her?

– In love with my “Snoreball”, Tuxedo

Dear Lover: Married people in some cultures and religions sometimes have connecting rooms. Couples aren’t stuck together in bed every night, even when they’re exhausted, their partner snores, or they just prefer to stay awake and watch TV. Some couples make the experience sexier by decorating their respective rooms in their own way.

What about the romantic etiquette of the adjoining room? In fact, people knock and ask to join their partner – there is no interference. Unsurprisingly, people often feel turned on when they hear a sexy hit, and it keeps the romance fresh.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I suspect my new neighbor – in his early thirties – is building a party palace in his garden. This weekend, he and his buddies brought a large gazebo and put it on one side of his patio. Then two big guys carried into the standing bar. Then they started climbing the ladders and stringing the trees with hundreds of lights. I could see all of this happening from our upstairs window.

They were drinking beer and playing loud music when they finally carried large stacks of chairs. I saw a drum set and two guitar cases. Looks like there’s gonna be a bunch of parties in this yard, and it’s gonna start soon. Nothing worse than a bunch of yahoos nearby!

My husband asked them if anyone was getting married in the backyard and the owner of the house said, “Not if we can help him!”

I admit we live in a sort of semi-rural part of town, but that doesn’t protect us from bad neighbors and their intrusive noise. I’m sure there are big problems ahead this summer. I just want to walk in and clear things up now.

My husband says, “Wait until there’s really a party to complain about before you set us up as enemies.”

What do you think? I will call the police if necessary.

— Anxious for a good cause, Charleswood

Dear Anxious: The neighbor and his friends are going to go to a lot of trouble and expense. You have witnessed the preparation of a fancy party, even if it is not a wedding. It can be a family celebration or a small live concert.

If you are agreeable, you and your husband can be invited to all or part of this special event, and others under the stars. But if you pose as enemies, you will not be invited to anything. Worse still, the owner will never be sympathetic to requests for denial of music.

Don’t start a war for nothing. If you’re going on vacation this summer, tell the neighbor when, and they might throw a party, you won’t mind at all. Invite a friend or relative to watch your house that night, just for safety and so you can relax on vacation.

Please send questions and comments to [email protected] or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o The Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Consulting Columnist

Every year the Free press publishes over 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her answers to life and relationship questions that come her way.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Consulting Columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.